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I dealt with extreme anxiety for over a decade.

I started having panic attacks when I was a teen. I dealt with extreme anxiety for over a decade, and experienced a true spout of depression in my 20’s.

The unknown scared me so much… Like when my parents split up as a child that was super scary for me. The loss and the feelings of the unknown scared me to death. The lack of stability and security from what I was experiencing as a child at that time rose up in me as panic. I started using pot at 15, I had to cover it up. I had to push down feelings and I did that through drinking and pot.

A few of my fears were

Lack of control

Fear of the unknown Change.

It was hard to separate anxiety from depression at the time.… I never really came to the conclusion that alcohol was the problem. It was really the lack of connection with the truth. I felt lost, scared, numb… it was easier for me to feel numb and angry than to deal with the true feelings of feeling lost, scared and the unknown changes.

This was only the beginning, stay tuned for the continued story.