The Blog

Interviewer: Okay. So your mother had fibromyalgia and in the mind, you were eight. Your problems were not seen because everybody was concerned about her. And you were sexually assaulted as a child, is that correct?

Yeah. My mother had fibemyeralgia and the mind of an 8 year old, my child problems were not seen because everyone was concerned about her. Meanwhile, I was sexually, physically and mentally abused. My grandmother was my saving grace but died when I was 14. I was left not knowing true motherhood and learning to be a mother to my mother. My mother has since passed and I am now a mother to a wonderful 12 year old boy with ADHD and Autism. I have become a certified personal trainer with Camp Gladiator. I use my platform to advocate domestic violence, autism and mental health.

With regards to the sexual assault I don’t really remember all the details of the sexual assault, well I didn’t initially, it was not until I later found out that I was…. I was the age of 23. For years I suffered from the assault and childhood traumas. I had just blocked it out over the years and everybody knew about it. It just kept coming up that something bad was happening but they didn’t know the degree of it. If you ask me for details, honestly I cannot remember. It doesn’t matter the severity it was; I just can’t remember it. It is not like I am trying to lie, I can’t remember it and I got frustrated and crying because the thing meant something I couldn’t even express to anyone.

I just remember they started giving me medicine for depression when I struggled at 8/9 years old. I was sad so they were just giving me medicine so I wouldn’t be sad. I remember them saying what’s going on with mom and me being sent to counseling between my mom and her fibromyalgia and my grandmother having colon cancer and a lot was going on.

I was being looked after by my grandmother, who was suffering from colon cancer for a very long and her condition was also deteriorating.

Dealing with Childhood traumas

Dealing with past trauma’s and hurt was really difficulty especially when you don’t know that is what you are dealing with initially. Taking medication can always be scary but sometimes it is necessary. Just check with your doctor and your family to see what really works best for you!

I did not lose hope is the positive thing that I did here. So I would talk to friends and stuff like that because they were also going through stuff, and I know there are more things that go on mentally, but as I grew I learned of things I can do to change the trajectory of what goes on and how I respond to it.

Things that helped me overcome

Advice: My advice is, find something that you love and just pour yourself into it and give a gap to that person and you will see clearly because that would fill your gap, and that would be your justice.

Advice: Try each day to make people feel special. This will reduce your anxiety and moments where it would look like you are dealing with that again. 

Advice: Take counseling sessions. Talk to friends there and things like that because they are also going through stuff.

Tips on Coping with Mental Health 

• Give Yourself Value: Do not criticize yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and respect. Make sure you keep yourself mentally healthy. Indulge in healthy hobbies and surround yourself with good people. Most importantly, have a proper sleep.
• Seek help when you are in need: Take counseling when needed. Make your mental health your priority. Seeking help is a sign of strength — not a weakness. Also, try waking people by giving awareness in your circle about this. Depression Awareness and Mental health awareness is a need of society. 
• Forgive: Forgiveness is acknowledging that the action happened and how it made you feel. There is nothing there that can be changed. You can choose to reside in the feelings of the past or choose to move through them. Moving through it and letting it go is one the healthiest and most beneficial things you can do for yourself.

Remember to be kind to yourself, love yourself

everyones mental health journey is different.

Be patient with yourself and find what works for you. As an adult fitness has really played a major role in my mental health. Working out brings me much joy and peace.