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The amount of verbal and emotional abuse that I tolerated was unreal, but like many I psyched myself to believe that “it’s not like he was hitting me”. I profess today that abuse is abuse! The day I decided to leave my ex-boyfriend was the day that I became a victim of a suicidal-murder attempt. Usually I was the one begging and pleading to work on our relationship after he tried to break up with me over something that I still to this day believe he made up to pick a fight out of jealousy.

Well that day, I made up my mind that I was no longer going to tolerate this anymore. I packed up my bags to leave college for Thanksgiving break to take my boyfriend home. That three hour ride seemed like the longest ride of my life, not knowing that it could have been my last time seeing Mississippi State University. On our way home I told him that once I drop him off he won’t have to worry about me anymore and that I was done.

The next thing I heard before I woke up upside down on the side of the highway was “You can’t leave me! If I can’t have you, nobody will. I will kill both of us!” My ex grabbed the steering wheel and ran us off the rode into a culvert. We flipped like 5 or 6 times and landed upside. I woke up seconds later to people running to the car screaming “get out, the car is about to blow.” I was helpless and what felt like paralyzed because I was still in shock.

As soon as I snapped out of my daze I begged “please get me out, I don’t want to die like this.” They tussled with trying to pull us out because the car was showing signs that it was about to explode. As soon as they managed to pull us out the passenger window and carry us across the street maybe a couple of feet, the car blew up in flames.

Read belief the different stages of grief one can deal with in a relationship.

1. Denial

In this phase, our heart—rather than our head—rules our belief system as we try to adjust to the idea of life without the person we’re losing. Even though we know the relationship is over, we really don’t believe it. Against the better judgment of everyone around us, we can’t help but entertain fantasies of things somehow working out. We see hidden glimmers of hope buried in clear indications that it’s over. (Unsurprisingly, this is the phase where we are most susceptible to late night texting.)

2. Anger

Anger can manifest in many different ways—anger at your ex (“How could he do this to me? Why can’t she stop being selfish?”), anger at God or the universe (“Why can’t anything ever work out for me? Why am I cursed?”), anger at people or situations associated with the break-up (anger at the “other woman”; anger that your partner lost her job, because that is when she “changed”), and anger at other people who don’t agree or stand with your anger (“Can you believe George and Jane still want to be friends with him after what he did to me?”).

This is the phase where we think it’s a great idea to tell anyone and everyone how “crazy” or “psycho” our ex was. This is also when we think it’s crucial to send our ex hateful emails because we don’t want him thinking he got away with anything.

3. Bargaining

Bargaining often goes hand in hand with denial. Bargaining can be looking for any possible way to make the relationship work through negotiation, threats, and/or magic—for example, telling your ex that you will change, or move, or go to therapy, or telling him he is hurting the children, his family, your family, and the dog by leaving.

And, of course, this phase is not only limited to bargaining with your ex. Many people bargain with The Powers That Be, promising to be a better person if only the ex will come back. During this stage, you may take a new interest in astrology, tarot cards or any type of voodoo that will forecast a reunion. This is also when we attempt to enlist all friends and family to “talk some sense” into him or her.

4. Depression

Depression, like anger, also surfaces in many different forms, for example feeling tired all the time, not wanting to do anything but lay in bed, feeling disconnected from people even when you’re with them, being on the verge of tears most of the time, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, loss of appetite or overeating, increase in drug or alcohol use and—the big one—hopelessness. 

Hopelessness is the most pervasive and debilitating; it is the thing that leads us to believe that nothing will ever be or feel different than it is right now. Hopelessness makes it feel like you will never move on and that nothing will ever work out for you in the future.

5. Acceptance

Finally, this is the phase in which we are able to make peace with the loss. It doesn’t always come on suddenly; it often happens gradually, bit by little bit, interspersed with some of the other phases. Acceptance doesn’t always involve harmony and flowers—there is almost certain to be lingering sadness. Acceptance entails making peace with the loss, letting go of the relationship and slowly moving forward with your life. Sometimes it feels like this phase will never come, which usually means you’re still struggling in an earlier phase.

For more reading on stages visit our reference :

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-grieving-the-end-relationship