As I laid on the side of the highway in unbearable pain and shock, God spoke words to me that I would never forget. It was that very moment that I realized that I have a true purpose here on earth. Like many, I battled with exposing the truth out of embarrassment and shame so I internalized everything and tried to heal from something that I didn’t necessarily know how to heal from let along do it by myself. Which brings me back to the day I sat in the Mental wellness event about 6 months later. That day emotions resurfaced in my life that I couldn’t explain. I never knew that my dating cycles and emotional well-being were all impacted by the healing that I needed and unaddressed issues that I have faced.
So I sought after counseling which was the best decision I ever made. It was indeed a process but a well needed one. We all need healing no matter how long it has been since an incident has occurred. The lack of healing affects our mental state whether we realize it right then or thirty years later. After that relationship, I thought I would never trust or love again. I mean, how could I? The one I loved literally tried to kill me. It was difficult to process and heal from but like I mentioned, there is always purpose in the pain. With prayer, counseling, and a willing spirit, it is not impossible.
Here I am ten years later, alive! I am a wife of my wonderful husband, Justin for three years, I am a multi-business owner, I am an advocate for healthy marriages and relationships, and I am emotionally, spiritually, and mentally healed and healthy! Mental health is a balance of how we think, how we act, and how we feel. These three areas shape our lives and impact the type of life we can have. Your mental health is contingent on how happy and successful you will be at this thing called LIFE!
My advice to all is treat your mental health like your life depends on it, because it actually does!
#1. Take a different view.
#2. Visualize a happy memory.
#3. Tell Me Something Good. A depressed person has earned a PhD in The Art and Science of Self-Hatred. When I ask, “How do you see yourself?” I get answers like: “I’m boring.” “I’m a coward.” “I’m ugly.” “I’m not smart.” To the speaker, these sentiments are absolute truths; his or her sense of identity, a soul-less place to live that is familiar, thus offering a ‘comfortable discomfort’, with no exit door. As long as these annihilating beliefs rule your self-image, nothing good can break through.
The next step will be “to compile, print out the list and carry it in your wallet like a talisman.” For extra inoculation against the constant negativity, I suggest the patient write positive qualities on post-its and sprinkle them around the house: stick “I have gorgeous eyes” on the bathroom vanity, place “I’m reliable” on the refrigerator and so on…
You are what you ‘feed’ yourself spiritually speaking. Exchange the “everything I hate about myself” mantra to “all the qualities that make me a special, unique, lovable person.”
#4. Make Plans. When a person is depressed the only place he or she wants to be is in bed, preferably under the covers with the shades drawn. Lifting up the phone to hear a friendly voice, much less having plans outside the bare minimum (work, school, grocery store) feels way too difficult.
The Internet has made it dangerously seductive to keep to oneself. Studies show that limiting social media to approximately 30 minutes a day decreases depression.
#5. Find Something to Look Forward To. This is a technique I routinely use as an anti-blues vaccination. (I’ve shared that I suffer from High Functioning Depression.) When I’m down I search for something to put on the calendar that makes me happy and excited. Indeed, this 2007 study showed that people get an emotional lift when they contemplate a future fun event, versus looking back on a fabulous activity from the past.
Book a trip, buy concert tickets, plan a party—whatever brings a flush to your cheeks and rumble of joy to your belly. My biggest mood-turnarounds arise when I begin a project that can potentially create some good in the world and lead to fulfilling connections. For example, I’ve volunteered as a mentor to underserved young women who want to write, sought publishing contracts to write a book, taught workshops, submitted a video to do a TedX talk (haven’t heard back on that one yet!).
The point is: stop continually telling yourself nothing good will ever again happen—you’ve been there, seen that, done that.
Website reference for full article and cited work is
https://www.psycom.net/therapist-plan-for-overcoming-depression/
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